Needing to Get Beyond Valentine’s Day


valentines day ugh.jpg
When I was younger, Valentine’s Day was one of the worst days possible of the entire year. When I had girlfriends, I’d usually be dumped either on Valentine’s Day or the day before. I broke my foot on Valentine’s Day.
Another year, I was hit by a car while on my bicycle in Westwood, California. The driver offered me a Valentine’s Day chocolate. One year I had the mumps. The next year I had my tonsils out. Another year, I had my wisdom teeth pulled — and I was one of those who swelled. When I lived in West Hollywood and was out for Valentine’s Day with someone not so special, I got food poisoning.
Have you ever had hepatitis? Not fun. And it’s worse on Valentines’ Day when you are in the hospital with your dad and a lot of young school girls (much of the Air Base I lived at in Alaska had hepatitis from an infected water supply — thanks USAF) who wanted to do the Valentine’s thing.
Hug E Gram Twn.jpgOne Valentine’s Day, I had flown to Berlin to give a speech but all my bags had been lost — so keynoted the evening to quite a number of octogenarians in jeans and a black long sleeved t-shirt. For Berlin, it was OK — but no matter how much I said it wasn’t my fault, I got these grim looks of disdain from the audience.
Until my current significant other wouldn’t allow it anymore, I used to stay home and take the phone off the hook.
Now, in recent years I’ve slowly been coaxed out of my cave on Valentine’s Day — but then I just saw this ad of the Hug-E-Gram. I really worry for this country.
And I just want you to know that I found this ad which you must see to believe. . .on what day? On Valentine’s Day.
Hope you and yours are having a good one, despite my trepidation for this day.
— Steve Clemons


21 comments on “Needing to Get Beyond Valentine’s Day

  1. dianaw says:

    Steve: I’m with you on this. I’ve been married to the same man for 38 years. Anyone else who’s done that will tell you that marriage or any other long-term relationship requires patience and hard work and a lot of humor, not to mention mutual love and respect. That last thing honest romances and relationships need is over-hyped commercialized useless gadgetry, although I will put in a good word for a fine piece of chocolate. But why wait for valentine’s day for that? The only day I hate worse than Valentine’s day is Mother’s day, and I have 2 kids. What I’m saying is, let’s get away from commercialized validation of intimate relationships and focus on working to make them better, both in private and with stronger national institutions that help rather than hurt all of us. I wish you well Steve, no matter what day it is.


  2. Mr.Murder says:

    Steve has the right idea in sending out a lovely Valentine to all readers at TWN. When Valentine’s Day hands you lemons, make lemonade. Unless, of course, Steve is allergic to lemons, or to lemonade.


  3. David says:

    POA nailed it.


  4. just john says:

    I measure my Holiday Desperation Season as lasting from November 15th to February 15th. It starts with Christmas Sweat (and the unintentional source of that term is probably the one thing I’ll ever thank Glenn Beck for) and ends after VD.
    Generally, I feel if I can survive until Feb 15, I can make it through to the following November.


  5. nadine says:

    I hope you survived Valentine’s Day unscathed this year, Steve. Or did you stay in bed with a fifth of Jack Daniels to take no chances?


  6. Ben Rosengart says:

    That last comment is, I think, a bit of cleverly
    topical spam. If you search for the link, you’ll see
    that it’s all over the web, in places that make no
    Today may be about love, but I still hate


  7. Lurker says:

    This will be a classic blog post for years to come.
    My family and I feel your pain. But I have not laughed so hard on a Valentine’s Day in years, and you brought a lot of light into our life today with this, as you often do.
    I’m with POA on this one.


  8. PissedOffAmerican says:

    Gads, Steve, I gotta admit, your Valentine’s Day travails had me chuckling. You actually get out of bed on this day??? Were I you, I think I’d stay in bed, flak jacket, helmet, emergency flares, and penicillin, all within easy reach.
    Its my natal birthday, so I suffer no such trepidation. Although sometimes I think I’d rather suffer a tooth ache than add one more year to my rapidly advancing stockpile of years. Woooosh, they sure zoom by these days.
    It was also my mom and dad’s wedding anniversary, so as a child most of the fourteenths I remember were of my parents drunk and happy, and as an adult most of the fourteenths I don’t remember were of me drunk and happy.
    Happy Valentine’s day, you all.
    And how does one wish Steve a happy Valentine’s day, unless its by screaming….
    (Smile, brother.)


  9. Jackie says:

    Mr. Murder,
    I loved “My name is Earl”. It was the dumbest, funniest tv show in quite a while. I’ve been bummed since it wasn’t re-upped. I guess there are the old ones in syndication, but it isn’t the same.


  10. Jim H from Indiana says:

    Sounds like my Valentine’s Day from last year. Woke up in the
    morning in severe pain and then spent the next three days in the
    hospital with kidney stones.
    At least this year was quiet and pain free!


  11. Mr.Murder says:

    Steve sounds like you once had some bad Karma. For example, the show “My Name is Earl” where the character makes a list of things, to compensate, for having once been very mean.
    Then again, you have that be that way to work in media with the MSM, so I’ve heard…


  12. Drew says:

    Sounds to me like you need to stay in bed with a bottle of wine,
    one day per year, and this is that day. Meanwhile, you have a great
    comic novel or screenplay to complete.


  13. questions says:

    Happy Valentine’s Day — a perfect day to be in the only one of the 50 states to have no snow. Sadly, I’m not there. But I guess I could order me up a Hug-E-Gram, or a huge gram, or a snuggie, or a dozen roses and a pizza.
    Be warm and well!


  14. WigWag says:

    Steve, your post reminds me of Woody Allen’s take on Valentine’s Day.
    In “Annie Hall”, Allen’s character Alvy Singer said,
    “To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But then, one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer; not to love is to suffer; to suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy, then, is to suffer, but suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be happy, one must love or love to suffer or suffer from too much happiness.”
    And then of course there’s Woody’s take on love from “Sleeper,”
    “Sex without love is an empty experience, but, as empty experiences go, it’s one of the best.”
    Happy Valentine’s Day Steve and everyone else reading these words.


  15. Steve Clemons says:

    Topher, thanks pal. Appreciate your bravery in setting a new course. Between us, Andrew was off to tennis and his car got badly stuck in the snow and ice laden alley. He called me to help get him out of the mess — and I thought I was done for. But I survived.
    Dan, powerful video. Thanks for posting that video poem.
    Susan — there wall always be more…but I had similar reaction.
    Ben — thanks, and jealouse of the paella.
    Don — you are a lucky man.
    Happy Valentine’s Day Everyone…basically, if you celebrate it anyway.
    Steve Clemons


  16. DonsBlog says:

    Can’t say I have your record. My favorite Valentine
    Days’ was when I was dating a woman on the Central
    Coast of California. I used to reserve a window
    table at the Ragged Point Restaurant at sunset.
    Nothing like the beauty of Big Sur. Other times, I
    just ignore it.


  17. Ben Rosengart says:

    I hope you make it through the day unscathed,
    I will be making paella with my brother and my
    wife. Not all that romantic — but we don’t care.


  18. susan says:

    OMG another piece of cheap Chinese crap for someone to buy


  19. Dan Kervick says:

    Here is a love poem for St. Valentine’s Day, but not the usual sort:


  20. Topher Bengtson says:

    Steve, you have me beat on reasons to dislike this holiday. I have
    hated it since middle school. Today I have decided to try let the
    ones I care about know I love them and show kindness and
    equanimity to strangers. Happy Valentines Day.


  21. Dan Kervick says:

    It looks like the perfect gift for members of Congress to send their pages. They can record messages like, “I’m really wowed by the work you did on that school lunch bill,” and “My wife is out of town” and “Could you help me undo this clasp?”


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