This holiday, for the first time ever, I am giving some presentations on the world’s geopolitical and geo-economic fault lines on the really terrific Regent Seven Seas Explorer traveling between Australia and New Zealand.
This Christmas Eve, I’ve just arrived in Hobart, Tasmania and am thinking about my morning presentation which will take place tomorrow morning on Christmas Day! Like an increasing number of college students around the country, I looked to ChatGPT for inspiration, and I thought you all would get a chuckle from my query about what President Donald Trump’s tariffs might be on North Pole Santa Claus operations.
Here is the exchange:
Steve Clemons to ChatGPT:
What will be the impact of Donald Trump’s planned tariffs on Santa Claus, toymaking and the north pole?
ChatGPT to Steve Clemons:
Donald Trump’s hypothetical tariffs on Santa Claus and the North Pole would likely have several amusing yet thought-provoking implications:
1. Toymaking Supply Chains
• Cost of Materials: If Santa relies on imported materials for toys (e.g., electronics or rare earth metals), tariffs could drive up costs. This might lead Santa to source locally or pass costs to consumers (parents).
• Elf Labor: Tariffs could encourage Santa to automate his workshop or outsource production to other countries, risking elf unemployment.
2. Global Trade Relations
• Retaliation: Santa might impose counter-tariffs on U.S. exports like cookies and milk, creating a festive trade war.
• North Pole Diplomacy: Santa’s operations, being global and neutral, might make him a surprising advocate for free trade agreements.
3. Impact on Christmas Deliveries
• Delays and Price Hikes: Increased costs could mean fewer toys, slower production, or higher prices for “nice” kids.
• Smuggling Accusations: Santa’s overnight deliveries could face scrutiny as tariff evasion, leading to customs checks.
4. Environmental Concerns
• North Pole Production: If tariffs incentivize local U.S. production, the environmental impact of transporting goods from the North Pole might decrease—but at the cost of Santa’s unique magic.
5. Cultural Backlash
• Public Opinion: Parents and children alike might protest the tariffs, arguing they undermine holiday traditions.
• Satirical Responses: Late-night shows and holiday specials would likely lampoon the policy, ensuring it lives on in pop culture.
In short, tariffs on Santa and the North Pole would be a logistical and public relations nightmare, but they’d make for excellent holiday satire!
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays Everyone!
— Steve Clemons
