SPOOF: Baggage Hostage Release Date

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As I reported earlier, I am getting the full outside the beltway treatment in Iowa and Wisconsin. I’m actually having a great time and have met some fascinating folks out here — but because I had some toothpaste, deoderant, shaving cream and all that, I checked in my small bag. United Airlines lost my bag and thus far has not been able to find it.
I look pretty grungy — but adding a bit of humor to the day, Keith Porter sent this to me a short while ago:

HOSTAGE RELEASE DATEThe Stanley Foundation has enlisted Governor Bill Richardson and Rev. Jesse Jackson to lead negotiations for the release of your luggage from United Airlines. They will be carrying messages of mercy from former President Jimmy Carter and UN Secretary General Kofi Annan.
His Holiness, the Dalai Lama has agreed to lead global vigils on behalf of the missing bags and prayers calling for United Airlines to respect compassion and justice.
Gov. Richardson said United Airlines has developed an unusually strong bind with your luggage… and he expects his diplomatic skills will be sorely tested as he approaches the bagage handlers who have thus far issued only denials and misinformation regarding even the simple whereabouts of the items in question.
Rev. Jackson said, “We must negotiate, not manipulate. United must now RE-unite these men with their belongings. Only then will justice rush down like mighty water….which of course cannot be carried onto an airplane.”

More later.
— Steve Clemons

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