Charles Brown: John Bolton’s dream job


With the latest report that John Bolton may have lied to the Senate Foreign Relations Committee, perhaps the time has come for him to look for a new job.
I happen to know just the thing.
According to USA Today, Donald Trump has offered to renovate the UN’s nearly sixty year-old (and increasingly shopworn) headquarters for free (or at least without cost to the UN). USA Today quotes Trump saying “I’m offering to bring it in way under budget… and much quicker. I don’t want any fees. I’d like to do it for humanity.”
I¹m not going to question Donald Trump’s motives. Let’s assume they’re genuine. But I do have a suggestion on how he could make money off the deal: hire John Bolton to star in his own edition of “The Apprentice.”
Think about it: the boss from hell meets the diplomat from hell. The hair meets the mustache. It would be the best match since, well, the Donald and Martha. Or maybe since Bolton met Carl Ford.
Contestants could be chosen from the most recent crop of junior Foreign Service officers. When they fail, they¹ll face the full wrath of John Bolton: first he’ll scream at him and question their credibility. Then he’ll have them transferred, then he¹ll have them demoted, and then he’ll get them fired. And the winner? She could help Bolton knock the top ten stories off the UN building.
Bolton could kick down to his heart’s content. And in Trump, he’d have the perfect boss to kiss up to. I can see only one problem: knowing his track record, John Bolton might screw the whole thing up and fire everybody. And Donald Trump better expect that Bolton might use NSA intercepts to keep track of him.
But come to think of it, maybe this is exactly what NBC needs to resuscitate the lagging “Apprentice” franchise: someone unafraid of anyone, not even The Donald.
Talk about ratings gold.
Charles Brown